We All Are Chameleons

When I was reading the day’s assigned book club reading, I came across a quote that caught my attention:

“Every time a couple moves they begin, if their attention is still drawn to one another, to see each other differently, for personalities are not a single immutable color, like white or blue, but rather illuminated screens, and the shades we reflect depend much on what is around us”

Woah. There’s a lot to unpack here. 

Author Mohsin Hamid includes this quote in his novel Exit West after the two protagonists Nadia and Saeed migrate to a new land, seeing each other in a new light. Initially Saeed finds Nadia’s black robe respectable, but in London it reminds him of her cultural ignorance. Similarly Saeed’s strong religious beliefs never bothered Nadia, but soon they start to vex her. 

I think such change in perceptions of others is more common than we think. I mean, how can it be possible that the “perfect” husband or wife continues to remain perfect when they come home late and drunk? When people initially start to get to know someone, especially someone they like, all flaws seem to vanish. Your mind unconsciously gets rid of these imperfections as your love steals the key to your heart. But, as Hamid mentions, personalities are not static; they change according to the situation. This metaphor of a changing illuminated screen also  likely contains a greater significance in their story. Given the importance of technology in their lives, this screen may allude to Nadia and Hamid’s reliance on cell phones to create a false sense of proximity and familiarity in their lives. 

random thought: it's called television static, but is it really static? 🤯

What really interested me wasn’t the first statement or the last, but in the conditional phrase:

“...if their attention is still drawn to one another…” 

What does Hamid seek to convey with this statement? If two aren’t in love (not “drawn to one another”), would they not see each other differently? I feel like if anything, the opposite should be true! People divorce/break up when they start to see the person they initially love as different. Maybe, Hamid means to say that if the two aren’t truly in love they may separate over small reasons, as they merely have noticed a change in surface level characteristics.

I think one thing I can take from this quote is that in truth, everyone is a chameleon – some are just better at being one than others.