Self-Guide: How to NOT be a Dorian Gray!

    While Mrs. Valentino is talking, you’re on your phone. Suddenly, she stops talking and you think she’s found out about your little secret. Quick, hide the phone! When placed in such uncomfortable situations, we often try to hide the source of the anxiety-causing stimuli. These stimuli vary from person-to-person and are based on each individual’s personal worries; however, there are a few universal stressors and one of the most common ones revolves around perceptions. In certain circumstances, this stimulus can be how others perceive us while other times it’s how we perceive ourselves. Perceptions are not just deceiving—as the old saying goes—but also dangerous. They can drive individuals to do absurd things.

    Such a crazy nature is seen in Dorian as he enacts bizarre actions to hide from his stressor: reality. After contemplating the dilemma of eternal youth, Dorian decides that all he has to do is hide from his fear. By hiding his painting, the reality of all his sins, pleasures, and faults, in a secluded place, Dorian is able to overcome his anxiety and can do as he pleases while maintaining the beauty of youth. Now this is just one example in literature, but what about in real life?

    People’s perceptions of themselves in real life are often dysmorphic and result in unnecessary changes. Some wear baggy clothing to hide their skinny limbs while others hide their moles with makeup. Some undergo rhinoplasty to hide their imperfect nose while others put on a smile to hide their internal problems from the world. But why? Are such actions really helpful? Sure, initially one may feel more comfortable hiding their “flaws” from the world, but such conditioned comfort leads to many more problems including insecurities and loss of identity. Who said that having moles makes one less attractive? No one. But when individuals constantly see moleless models, they are pressured to think otherwise, developing unhealthy insecurities. 

    Fortunately, we have seen positive change in society as individuals are starting to be praised for their uniqueness over their similarity to a standard, but there is still much more that needs to happen. Being comfortable in your own skin is a saying that is heavily promoted nowadays, but loses its meaning if one merely hides their discomforts to achieve this unnatural comfort. If you want to be genuinely comfortable with yourself, you should accept yourself for who you are, not hide what makes you uncomfortable.